I MISS MY LIFE

I sat on the couch and then I watch movies till I fall asleep and when I wake up, I’ll just turn on the music and listen to it while Sometimes I do laundry stuff and cleaning the house.

Then if i want to get out just wanna change my environment or somethin’ that I want to breath, or need to inhale fresh air… I ride with my toy and I called him jovenjoshua that’s the name of my toy, his helping me a lot to forget my pain. 

I know it doesn't sounds fun.  

I miss my life that I have been destroyed.

AND I AM LONELY...

I’m still go out in pain

I don’t know what I was thinkin’… it wasn’t part of my plan to visit my blogs tonight... reading my old post make me feel sick… i dont want to write my whining but my mind wants to say somethin’, my heart wants to let go of my burdens… 

Over the years people have come and gone in my life and I have wasted to many years losing the life I was in... I can’t believe it but it was happened with the blink of an eye, it happens so fast. I lost everything… I have loved and lost as so many others. I don’t know when is the time to close that door and open a new one... I am 36 years old now and my life is winding down.

I’m still go out in pain... I want to move forward but I don’t know how… Im freakin’ tired.

TAPOS NANAMAN MAGHAPON KO

natapos nanaman maghapon ko ng wala akong nagawang mabuti sa sarili ko. haaay buhay nga naman... walang asenso... hindi ko alam kailan ako mag kakaroon ng sigla sa sarili. nagiging pabigat na ako sa kay mama.. nakakahiya na. wala akong ganang mag trabaho... kahit nga kumain na lang wala pa rin gana... 

buti nalang kanina around 7:30PM nag punta sila pastor joy dito sa bahay nangaral ng salita ng diyos kahit gabi na 30 mins lang tinagal pangaral nya, salamat at kahit papano na bless ako sa aral ni pastor... at medyo kahit papano naman na iba din ng konti takbo ng buhay ko...  

at dumating din si oden kanina pag katapos ng turo ni pastor.  naligo kagad ako para ma fresh ang katawan at isip ko. at pagkatapos ko maligo nagpunta kagad kami ni kuya para maglaro ng basketball sa court nila  calvary around 8:00PM.  matagal tagal na din akong hindi nakakapag laro ng basketball... madale na akong mapagod sa paglalaro ngayon... 

naka isat kalahating laro lang ako... pagod na kagad.. pinulikat yong kanang binti ko... masakit at hindi ako nakakatakbo ng maayos sa court. kaya nag papalit na kagad ako..

haaay... tumatanda na talaga...madali ng mapagod... isip na lang gumagana.. hindi na kaya ng katawan...

12:44AM na pala.. medyo antok na din ako...

pahinga na muna... bukas nanaman ulit.. 

ano nanaman kaya mangyayari sakin bukas...?!