Another sad night

Another sad night. I hope 2012 would be life easier for me, but those past few days it wasn't good to me. I am hanging at the moment, don’t know what to do next. 

It wasn't nice to be alone, I will just remember the stupid huge mistakes I made. it leads to breakups, everybody knows breakups can be devastating and it happens to anybody, I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and I can’t be able to eat, I can’t sleep late at night, I can’t breathe again. Sad to think that you will also forget how to smile. 

Being heart broken by someone you love is one of the most painful things I have experience as human beings. But it happens to almost everybody.

mood: 3.5/10.

I wish the world ends today!

tonight, feelin sad thinkin what should I do., do the mayan calendar correct. do the worlds end this year?!

Whatever! I don’t care! I wish the world ends today!

Anyway… the Japanese guy and his girlfriend visited mum and brought some gift with 1 case bottle of san mig light, 5% alcohol with it…  kinda friendship thing…

however... It’s almost midnight… I am still awake… the night Is the safest time of day answering the unspoken question in my eyes. The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way…

the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so unpredictable, I just smiled sadly. knowing that you have been left alone. I don’t know what’s happening to me. Lots of mistake, lots of guilt kept. Life is so unpredictable.

I like the night. When it seems the worlds was asleep. Watching the stars at night, dreaming the happiness arrive, staring when the happiness suddenly shifted back to mine.

mood: 3.4/10

get really sick

i know she's gonna get really sick of my negative thoughts I'm pouring on her all the time, shes mad, really really mad. I know its not a good sign. Anyway, That's why I need someone else to talk too. that’s the thing being difficult for a long distance relationship. Its hard and It's too sad to think, she should know or we should know both about it.  

I wish every time I was with her we both never been happier and that it would be nothing but laughs and smiles.  But it's not always.  I wish I could just be happy for her.  I wish I never had a worry in the world just for her, so that she never had to be unhappy.  sHe deserves to be happy but I feel, seeing as she's the only person in the world I can talk too, I just bring her down. I love her so very much and happiness is the last thing I want it to be for her. 

mood 6.2/10