Wednesday, November 17, 2010

writing my pain

Wednesday, November 17, 2010 3
I finds myself in front of the computer once again. writing my pain… Not sure where to start.  I look around at this place, I saw four corners of my room, mess.... hmmp. Don’t need to put decoration,  i live alone, nobody cares me here… nobody does do.  

getting tired... Getting old… overtime at work everyday from 7am to 10pm its really exhausted. there is no time to wash and clean my stuff. feeling stress all day. food wont work. but care and love would be nice.

Perhaps I need to get on with it then.  Start new, maybe later it will. Just to wait and see..

my mood:5.5/10.

till there was you 1

Write text here...

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

im sad

Tuesday, November 16, 2010 0
Started to read some of my previous blogs.. and I've been hanging around for some time now.

I don’t know why I write again...  perhaps im sad.

i feel so sad today, really so very sad. i found that she dont love me ever since... i hate myself.

my mood: 6.5/10.
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Monday, November 15, 2010

I still have this mood swing

Monday, November 15, 2010 0
Happy! Am I? yes I am at the moment! Sometimes no. I still have this mood swing. I cant control it. But it's so fleeting. Anyway, I was very happy this weekend because I’ve got plenty of overtime perhaps it will continue till next week. I don’t care about the basketball that I am in, we’re loser anyway, beside the team is not complete, others already went back to their own assigned job location.

Feeling tired at work but i enjoyed every second of it. gotta earned lotta money to keep this month. Gotta lotta things to do next year. I'm planning to quit my job and find another one. I let my mind wander. Was I happy with my job??? I was, I am... but it’s just not the same kind of happy I was before. Its almost as if happy is transparent now, where before it was solid. Of course, i always think about her and there were times before that I was sad or scared or frustrated or even angry, but the foundation of my feelings was happiness. Now that is all upside down.

Happiness does not stay for long, it flits thru my heart, warms it a bit, then disappears. I am grateful that it makes an appearance at all, believe me. But I wish it would stay. I can see improvement, and that gives me hope. I am 'better' for longer periods now, there is more good time between the bad. So that is a good thing, it lets me know that maybe someday, the good will outweigh the sadness in my heart again. But I have hope, that thing with flutters.

my mood: 1.5/10.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Joven and Me Movie

Sunday, November 14, 2010 0

Swimming In Paradise!!

Swimming In Paradise!!

I'll be there for youxxx

Happy Birthday Janet!

I love you everyday Baby!

Holiday Together 2010

Swimming Adventure!

Swimming In Paradise!!

Joven and Me Movie

naaalala ka

through the years

Dayo 2 Sept 2010

samsung galaxy S i9000 hottest model of the year 2010

Dont ever go away

panahon na naman

i started to think about you

aytb Yanbu basketball 2009 highlights

i dont want to be this way

Harmony Hills Baptist Church

it is glory just to walk with him

Family swimming august 2010 PART 2

love moves

family swimming August 2010 part 1

i hate to go

dayo Sept 2010 game 1

loving you

upside down

lets fly away...

no more counting days

no more counting days... there is always days for tomorrow...

another day have just passed me by... no more tears... i leave everything behind... thats why i didnt post a blog for a month..

another day gone.,., never to come back.,., another day wasted., and yet to be rested.,., im so frustrated that another day come away., without me noticing it.,. i've done nothing to stop it., ive done nothing to make it somewhat different to the rest of the days that passed me by.,,. i just sit at my work and do the job that suppose to be done.

now writing again here in front of this freakin' computer.,,., i've been here.,., alone.,.without anyone noticing that i've been here,., guess they just don't care.,. sometimes.,.. crazy ideas crept in my mind,.,.

now im okay.. feeling better...

 my mood: 1.5/10
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