feelin better

20.01.11

The photos was taken a few days back. I took it when i was feelin better. So ive memories to look back. a gift sealed with a kiss to my lovable bella. damn i hate myself. corny....urgh signing off..

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im sad

Started to read some of my previous blogs.. and I've been hanging around for some time now.

I don’t know why I write again...  perhaps im sad.

i feel so sad today, really so very sad. i found that she dont love me ever since... i hate myself.

my mood: 6.5/10.

damn! 2012

Day 114

Friday, wow! I feel i wasted my whole day, bcuz, I was slept all afternoon and I woke up around 7:30PM. anyway, i prepare my dinner but shit happened sometimes, I didn't finish what I was cooking bcuz I’ve gotta short of condiments or additive. so I went outside then i ate at the restaurant, then I walked back at my apartment, next i took a warm bath and again hooked in the internet and nothing found interesting… then at this moment i am watching 2012 Movies at my laptop and I am drinking Pepsi at my side.. I waited Marivic to get online unfortunately he was busy at work, but I will just stay here till she’s coming back home...

next at this very moment, half way of the movie, i started to feel emotional again, damn! 2012 movie, the world is not gonna end yet! warning! dont watch this movie if you are not ready to face the end of the world yet....however, so sad to say that I am realizing i miss her so much. i can't help it. I love her so much. i know this for a fact. i am realizing the time I had spent with her when we are together and i miss her so much every day, I always wake up thinking about her. dreaming that i just want her back to me. Hoping that i just want all of it back everything, from the moment we have been together. I wish that i have a piece of 30 minutes to bring back the time how I felt her love to me.

my mood: 1.7/10.

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The beauty of love

day 110 - Sunday Scribblings #190 - Beauty

"Is there anything more beautiful than love?! “ the beauty of love is the greatest gift from supreme being, so If you are in love or something you feel love from your family and friends, just shout it out at my comments box “ I love you”, or if you just want to make me smile then you write 'Love You'.

well, for me it's a simple word with so many meanings. The beauty of Love can be tragic, happy, and sad. it is imperfect in some ways. but it is perfect for a person who knows how to love unconditionally and irrevocably.

I am just a normal individual person spreading the beauty of love, because i feel sometimes unloved and i want to see how many people love me back.

My mood: 2.9/10

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All you need is love

day 108

All you need is love

by the beatles


Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.

Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.

Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game

It's easy.

There's nothing you can make that can't be made.

No one you can save that can't be saved.

Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you

in time - It's easy.


All you need is love, all you need is love,

All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.

All you need is love, all you need is love,

All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.

Nothing you can see that isn't shown.

Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.

It's easy.


All you need is love, all you need is love,

All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

All you need is love (all together now)

All you need is love (everybody)

All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

my mood: 2.9/10

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handwriting

Day 106 – Re post

Dearest xxxxxxxxx,

I am laughing, coz you can’t read my handwriting. I’m ashamed for the first letter as I sent to you, its embarrassing. anyway I can do it in my computer but I insist, i want to do it with my own bear hands so you may think that I have done it with my whole hearted sympathy.

However, today is 25 October 2009 as I sit right here, thinking of you, and how you make my heart beat and how I am in love with you. I could never have thought that I would feel this way. You know all too well how surprising this is, I just love you so much. I don't know how it happened, and frankly I don't even care what it will caused me, I just want to love you and to be love by you. I'll love you forever and never leave you. You'll be in my arms again, I promise you.

This may start sounding like a poem, I know you will say it that… I don't know, but I will say it again and again; wow, perhaps it must be the rhythm of my heart that's calling your name. I just wanted to tell you, that you are my heart and my every thought I desire.

I love you with everything I have and you are mean more to me than this bright world. I miss you so much. You're probably sleeping now or you are at work at the moment, I will be glad if you feel happy if this my tiny letter will greet you. because In this little letter I'm pouring my heart how you mean the world to me…..and to be faithful and never leave you for the rest of my life.

I love you my angel. I'll hold you forever. you're the heart I treasure.

Love always
Wolverine

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life goes on

day 102

i dont know where i should put my self, but Life goes on, i should Laugh when i can, and accept everything what is done. i will keep my eyes closed and pretend it wasnt happen, life goes on.

Apologize when it should, and let go of what you can't change. i must love and Love deeply and forgive quickly, and dont complain, and shut your mouth off. let them do whatever they wanted to be, let them enjoy and feel free, what they loveth to be.

Take chances, give everything, and have no regrets. Life is too short to be unhappy. i have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, remember what you had, remember what god gifts, and be satisfied and content. dont asked for anything that it wont for you. life goes on.

i will always forgive and i should learn from my mistakes. People change and things goes wrong, i will keep my eyes closed and stitch my damn mouth. and dont say anything, let them feel that they are free. dont ever ever crossed there path, because you will end up their anemy, they just get irrirated quickly and you will be blame.

always remember... LIFE GOES ON!

i should not pushed myself that it wasnt for me. god has a better plan for me. just let life goes on.

my mood: 5.0/10

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lost in thought

Day 96

Another slice of the day has gone out, and I am hoping to complete all the week without feeling sad and low. am OK, I'm still doing good and I've been alone most of the day in my quite room.

then every night I go to sleep with all these things on my mind.. confused... Am I the one? will she get tired of me and move on? Does she mean what she says? Anyway, these are not doubts, but questions that seem to cross my mind every time I am lost in thought at night. I am still doing the right thing, I am still moving on my track. Doing pretty good, just waiting for the right days to come even though I know I am moving slow.

You know every night I dreamt of living that happy life..., Not having to worry about what she’s doing, not having to worry about our plans, not having to worry about my appearance and what other people would think of me, but this dream ends when I wake up and have to face reality… reality it’s always scares me… I don’t know why life so difficult? Acceptance? Nobody told me life was not easy? I gotta lot of of question to ask, but it seems no one to have the answer? and these thoughts I think, no one seems to understand.

My mood 2.9/10.

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Hello world!

day 94

Hello world. and a wonderful morning to my baby! Ssshhh, please keep quite.......she’s still sleeping....

anyway, the day is new and full of surprises, the love of god spread upon the face of the earth, dont be lazy, stand up and received the gift of love that shine forever. there's no place in the world to a slow moving people.

gotta go now have some breakfast, i should taste the good hot brewed Coffee with my lips and the side dish Tamiwa breakfast while i am waiting for the sunrise shining in on the cold morning breeze.

yah! I'm alive and breathing! this is good! All good things for sure it will flow smooth and nice! so start your day with a big smile in your face!

Thank you my father..for giving up your son.

My mood: 1.0/10.

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look back in time

Day 92

Wednesday, i got a lotta chance to spend talking with Marivic. and it was the best of everything. I really wish that every day was like the time i shared with her on my last vacation, I wish I could have super mutant power to look back in time and jump on it whenever I want it too. I really miss talking to her because at night i need to hear her voice before i can go to sleep and she knows that, and we try to talk on the internet (voice call) at night. And i really think that was cute and it was the sweetest in everything. I really miss to touch her everyday but somehow it just a dream, I hope someday it will not in dreams anymore.

I miss her softness and i love her so much than she expected and i just want to spend a lot of time with her because she can get to know me outside the public and we can hold hands and kiss and just be with each other same as before when the first time we met. It was a great feeling. I want to feel it again. I really want to think what she really needs and i am going to try my hardest to get that to her because i love her so much.

Well, i am just dead tired tonight. I need to get some sleep, lay down in my bed and hopefully talking to my baby. I just can't wait to cuddle her back. it so sad that we were apart. however, its not a big deal for me to stop here. for me it was a challenged, in this way i can proved that i am strong.

Anyway,  i am so very happy that i finally have someone who understands me and it was great feeling to have her. I never knew what love was until i met Marivic and now i have deep love and we have a lot of plans ahead. and it's nothing i have ever felt before in my life and i love it because i am sure, in God’s Grace we will be together soon. I love the way she value me and it touches my spirit and my soul.

My mood: 2.0/10

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