Wednesday, September 30, 2009

passed out

Wednesday, September 30, 2009 0
Day 58 – part 2

Well, I got home from work today, I totally passed out on the chair in the living room, then i woke up and i moved to my bed because I was so tired and i needed to rest up because i have to go to the camp to work as a committee and, I know’ it will not take so long to stay there but, perhaps after the game finished, I will be going home as early as I can. I want to see Marivic's face before i went to sleep.

I’m just really tired, I just need to have a nap in a short time. because, I sleep late last night. to tell you the truth, i could not sleep or I just don’t want to fall asleep in the early hour, i just want to stay being with her online all the time before i'm going to bed.

however, i am looking forward to have a good week. I Just want to make myself wonderful and i am going to show it off like anything if you ask me.

My mood: 7.3/10

my mood swing...

Day 58

I don't really feel like writing today, but I thought I should at least write a little something.

So anyway, today I had a short day at work. Again I woke up late, bcoz last night i'd slept at around 11:30 pm, it was late in the evening while i was talking to Marivic. But, anyway I had a surprisingly good time talking to her.

Now I'm back at work and I am in a less than good mood. I just feel like for every "good" day/time that I have, I am force to pay for it by suffering through a bad day/time. There is never one without the other. I really love having a good time mood.

sometimes I can't handle my mood swing anymore. I feel so crazy. I am always so up and down, it’s horrible. I seriously don’t want to feel like I am losing my sanity. I know what I want or what I need. I don’t want to be so confuse about everything, especially what I'm feeling. There are thoughts racing through my mind, I don’t want to feel like I'm going to explode. I can't do this anymore. I know I can handle my mood swing.

I don’t want to feel so lost in myself and in this life. I have to control over my emotions, in fact I can control my emotions. Everything is so intense. Because otherwise if my emotions controls my mood, It will hurt me so bad, again I will be on the past, and I will not going back to it anymore, I don’t want to destroy my relationship with her.

perhaps it just me..

My mood: 4.3/10

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Committee

Tuesday, September 29, 2009 0
Day 57 - part 3

These are the committee photos for the Aytb Intercolor Basketball Tournament 2009.

My mood: 5.3/10

About my unusual shift of mood...

Day 57 - part 2

I had made my own research for myself about my unusual shift of mood, what really happenings to my mood it was really strange, and I cannot stand for it sometimes, its like a roller coaster ride on the high swing with ups and downs.

Then I have recently come to the conclusion that I could possibly be having a bipolar. that would explain how I can hate myself, but be so narcissistic all at one time. Though, I really could care less if I’m insane or sane. As long as I can put an intelligent sentence together and say it correctly as well. i write, i will write, i will blog.. I’m fine. i am doing fine.

But, as far as I’m concerned, I am not harm myself or others. Haven't intentionally hurt myself in a very long time or ever wanted to truly kill someone, so I don't see the point. If things get so horrible, I will have my friends strap me down in a car to go to the hospital.

About bipolar

my mood: 5.3/10

Angels in the out field

Day 57

A new page of my countdown, the team got scheduled to play basketball last night, but my team mates left me. I didn’t see any missed calls on my phone from them, or any text messages that they are already on their way to the camp. perhaps I will accept the fact that it was my mistakes, why I am not with them at that moment… I know I fell asleep, I just felt tired, I need to have a rest for a while and I need to take a nap.

Anyway, I still didn’t lose my hope to play for tonight’s game, I called my driver to drove me to the camp which is the place we were just playing basketball all the time. then, I arrived at the place at the right time, the game wasn’t started yet. I took my warm up, I do lots of stretching to free my muscles on any cramps that will occur during the game.

“Let the game begins!” commentator said.

I’m always on the first five in the beginning of the game. however, in the first quarter of the game the sky blue lead the game by 6 points. At first, I didn’t do some scoring stuff, coz my hands pulse was still very weak to do some shooting skills but I just let my hand felt the fire of the game, so what I did was having some assist, setup the play, dribbling to the next court and fast break to the open man that’s what I did in the first quarter, but of course I got a little scores during the game.

Then, in the second quarter they increases the lead by 15 points, their just laughing. I don’t like the sign that was happening to the game. I’m at the bench, have some rest, restoring my stamina and endurance. Next, I put my towel on my head and I covered my face so nobody could see me.

then, I prayed, “oh god, oh lord almighty, the ruler of heaven and earth, please grant me your power and strength to help my team wins the game not only for me but for the benefit of the whole team, or just send your angel to provide my team mates luck in any point of directions they will attempt to shoot in and in addition, please grant my team just one win, just for one win…. Amen”. With sincerity.

I removed the towel on my face… I heard the time was 6 minutes… and the performance of the white team in the ball game was a mess… I decided to take my team time out for the first time, so they can rest. I am back to the ball game and ready to take my full blast. But still my prayer was connected on my mind, I know god was good. I’m ready, my spirit was hungry for winning, I took a quick glance on the score it was 45-30, they lead the game by 15 points, my team mates has losses their hopes, the spirit was low. but I didn’t showed to them that I am losing hope too… thought.

first jump shot, I’d scored…. I drive to the hoop.. I’d scored… I drive for the layup I missed but i took the foul for penalty, and I have 2 free throws attempt… again my prayer reminds me on my head… while I focus my eyes on the ring…. ”just one win” I murmured.

1st attempt, and the 2nd attempt was good, and at that moment I just losing my air in the top of my lungs..and my knees was about to bend down at the free throw line. I’ve got lots of scores during second quarter and I took another quick looked at the scores it was 45-45, I was surprised when I saw it, I didn’t expected it to be tied up at the second quarter. But I am tired, I after my breath inside my throat, I’m losing air. I went back to the bench to rest…

Start of the third quarter the game was good, they just exchanging scores.

To make the story short, I will jumped to the 4th quarter, I am on the tight defensive play by the sky blue, and they assign one player to follow me anywhere I go. So, Meaning they don’t want me to add more scores to the scoreboard, but you know God was great, my team mates got luck in any point of direction they got their scores in any attempt they will made. I’m surprised, I felt happy my prayer was working, we have angels in the out field… but then I do some mistakes at the last minutes of the 4th quarter I’ve got fouled out.

But anyway were not losing yet, my team mates steal the ball and they got three bonus free throw attempts that has been counted and take the lead by 4 points. the games was fun and lots of excitement. Then the final scores was 86-82.

The white team wins the game.

My mood: 5.3/10

Monday, September 28, 2009

i woke up late..

Monday, September 28, 2009 0
Day 56 – part 2

Today, I slept well and I woke up late in the morning, I don’t even heard my wife calling me at my yahoo messenger, and I missed her calls through my mobile too, I didn’t heard my alarm as well, perhaps I just pretty tired last night.

I got up quickly, I’m on rushed, I cleaned up myself faster, because I might be late at work, I didn’t talked much to my baby, but I just say hello and I love her so much, more than my life, i reminded her, then I leave. Next, I ran down hurriedly to catch my transportation vehicle, I’ve got lucky, I made it… I sigh…

While where on the highway, we've seen the accident on the road, the car was totally wrecked and upside down stance, I don’t know how many person’s remaining inside the car but I just saw one person lying unconscious. We tried to take photos but the police was arrived earlier so were not been able to take photos. It’s not allowed to take pictures here.

we arrived at the company safe and sound. Thanks for the prayer and to my wife as well.

My mood: 5.3/10.

The car problems

Day 56

It’s another day of my countdown. yesterday, 4:30 PM, I am ready to go home and my mind is set to home flying ahead of me, chatting with my wife. I turned off all the light inside the office, I walked slowly to the corridor. When I am near at the front gate, my boss catch me there. I never thought that he will be back after he left at the office.

“my car won’t start up!” he’s pissed off.

“don’t leave the company till those guys won’t fix my goddam car!” shouting… irritated.

i went back into my room, i switch on the lights. Then I thought that the replacement car they brought early morning it was not working properly, It will stuck up in the middle of the deserted highway.

I dialed there number, the phone rings, “hello, please fix the caprice car now! otherwise, if you will not fix it right away I will raise a big complain to your company!” I said.

A moment later, there mobile workshop was arrived, I thought that the problems was only car battery that has been discharged and need to be replace, but it’s not the battery that has a problem it was the starter that won’t start, so it is really a big problem. its quite late now its 5:30pm, and I want to have a rest for the long day that I have been working so long. It’s really quite tiring day, but I should find a solution how to fix the following problems.

1. My boss need a car

2. We don’t have any transportation for tomorrow

3. We need to drop the other guys to the town

4. The available car is in the Yanbu airport

5. I’m hungry and tired

it’s really a hard time for me to decide, but I should not waste my time standing doing nothing… then I walked closer to the mechanic and the supervisor.

”Start the car…please“ I said.

The Mechanic replied “the car will start but he can’t used it for a long time…”

The Supervisor said “the car need to be return to the workshop.”

“Just start the car!” I shouted,

“it is not supposed to be happened if you were doing the right thing from the start, you are not supposed to delivered a damage car here!” I commented.

They keep silent.. Now, I’ve got planned in my head. Then I walked back into the office. I sat on the visitors chair in front of my boss.

“boss, the car won’t start till tomorrow. They trying to fix it now, but I am afraid you can’t used it all day” I started talking…trying to convinced him..

“They are here..?” he asked.

“yes…” I replied.

"Please use the other car just for tonight? then tomorrow I will try to arrange a good car model 2009….” his tired and stressed… I know he will agree… I thought..

“okay” he agreed.

I gave him the car key, then I walked back outside with my boss, I turned off the lights and closed all the doors gently. then he left desperately….Next, I heard the car was starting… I called the other guys to sat at the back of the car and we will drove them at the town.

I’m not talking, I kept silent… I had a bad mood….while we are hovering along the way to the downtown I felt tired and stressed, Then after we dropped the guys at the town… we went to the car workshop.... I put a little complained to the manager… I said “blah, blah, blah and blah blah” just to make it sure that it wont happend again. next, i asked for the new replacement for tomorrow. Then, we drove to the airport to take the new car 7:30PM, night.

It was 8:00 Pm, when I got home. Well, I did a lot of work today, i am so tired and i need to go to bed early to night, but you know I still have a little time to use up with my wife online till I got slept. I miss her so much, I want her to hook up in my dreams all the time.

I am very sleepy and i just want to go to bed and just dream about all the different things in life with her when we’ve got married. i have to keep my head up high and know that i am just never going to find anything better then i do right now in my life and I just want things back to the way they use to be, I’m tired I need someone with me. I love her to be with me anywhere anytime.

I know today will be okay… with the help of my every day prayer…

My mood: 5.3/10

Sunday, September 27, 2009

how to reduce stress?

Sunday, September 27, 2009 0
Day 55 – part 3

well I am having a hard time to stands the stressed and tiredness and I felt it has a long day today at work. I’ve lots of other things that’s burden me. well, it’s just a normal problem anyway, there’s nothing to worry about. somehow we should face the reality that were just normal people having problems and we need to face the life as it gets.

so to made my day more happier, ill upload some photos to help myself reduce the stressed and moodiness that I had.

well.. i hope u guys feel happy as well!!

My mood: 5.2/10

Good ol' day

Day 55 – part 2

another day, another page and Another day of my countdown. Today I feel very good again. I think i was "too good" and it should be good ol' day, but It’s difficult for me to remember what "normal good" feels like. I hope it’s just normal, I don't want to crash. I love being happy. I love every part of it. I wasn’t stuck in here I would have having fun and getting a lot done.

So Eid was finished and yesterday is the last days of the holidays, now everything was back to normal. Well, Today was kind of fun because work was good i was busy most of the day and that was great because i am finally making some money and i need that, so i can pay off my bills that i need to and everything. And also for the next years events.

I'm just thinking that i need so much more my wife in life besides me, it’s really quite difficult here to live alone. and i know how painful it is, if you dare ask me. I just want to be a happy man, trying to live with her for the rest of my life. Because I know to live with her is the only way i know how to be happy, and it's great that i finally have a reason to not be so upset all the time.

I know that i have something to work for and i am not trying to understand things anymore it's finally makes me realized that things are going to be okay i have faith in everything, God is always there for me.

My mood: 4.2/10

Typhoon "ONDOY"

Day 55

The worst flood in the recent history of the philippines. I live in the street of tondo metro manila since I was born but I never saw such a floods like those, I never had experience those shocking floods during my days.

I think typhoon “ONDOY” started strong rainfalls night on September 26 2009. And I know the families from there houses they were just all peacefully sleeping due to just strong rainfalls made by typhoon.

But In the morning when you woke up.... you will be shocked.... if you will witnessed those devastating floods all over the NEWS worldwide.

Araneta Avenue

Ayala Underpass

Buendia Cashin Carry

Stranded on the roof


Excelsior view

Fort Area

Hypermarket silver city


Makati Peninsula


House for sale

Wilson Street

Xavier CRV

Valle Verde Guard House

Araneta Avenue

Araneta near Sta. Mesa


Marikina Palengke



Quezon City

Taft Avenue

Vito Cruz

Pureza Manila

Stranded on the roof

my mood: 6.2/10
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