Friday, May 6, 2011

Press refresh

Friday, May 6, 2011 5
I finally admitted to myself that I am not the one she loved. i feel the pain and it happened so fast. Anyway, I feel tired… I feel that I have been cheated…  and stubbed with a sharpest knife right through my chest… and let the blood pour forever… losing my breath slowly… made them happy…

i quit my job, I fired myself, I don’t want to see myself again… helpless… depressed… loser…  it’s too painful and nobody could understand it… however, finalize today I ended my lease with my current housemates, and have started packing my belongings, Time to move. Time to move at the end of the month... Never did I think i'd have the courage to just start over again somewhere new in the drop of a hat, but I am. Life wasn't working, I hated it, never got to have a real relationships with my friends/girlfriend. I am not enough… she didn’t give me a chance to choose her… to live with her… to marry her… I guess it’s too late….i am not meant for her…

I need to move on… Taking this time to start being happy, stop everything… i need a straight life… I should know how to appreciate what I have in the present.

Oh God this is life…. this is how my life would be, please show me another way, that there is still an opportunity and life is worth living. 3 1/2 more days then im going, moving my stuff last day of may.

starts today I need a fresh start. Delete the past and start moving forward… press refresh…

my mood: 8.9/10
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