a few things in my mind

Day 98

Well, my days was good but there were just had a few things in my mind that should be clear out. sometimes I just don't know what to do. Sometimes i got confused if the pain hurts me inside of my heart and soul specially my spirit but anyway i am thankful to have Marivic the woman stood next to me and i am trying so hard not to think about something bad and just move on with my life with her, because I just want to love her for the rest of my life. I really need to say, I am delight, and i am very happy most of the day that I am spending time with her talking of over the phone.

I'm so happy that she overwhelmed my life, I am so happy we comfort each other at rough times. and we always talked about if something there were having misunderstanding was going on with us, and i never let the day pass without resolving the issues, in the sense that if ever we felt something were in the bad mood?! i should sit and talk to her. and i know that once get things better it will be getting better and better. and i should always remind the good things when we have been together and not the bad things, of course. bad things will ruin your world.

trust me if you don't have the support on the relationship it will never make it through. i am glad that she’s back to me and help me because she knows that i am trying to get through this and it's getting really hard at times if I felt worried and scared. It makes me weak and sad. My emotions are up and down but I going to fix it myself and i am physically trying to put myself back again because that is the right thing to do. I keep praying to god to help me deal with this in the way that she knows that i need the help but she’s working on it.

Actually, There are days where i go without sleep because i am scared that i am going to lose her and my emotions is freaking out. But i am greatful she never lost patience to me. I love her to be in my life because sometimes i just don't understand most of the things going on in my life, i am not perfect, I'm human that can feel the pain and suffer. anyway i just know that in my heart and soul and things are going to be alright i have faith in god and how he works and i am trying to live my life on god’s way.

I need to think the good times we shared, and i am happy that she's not in pain anymore and i just want things to be okay and i am just trying to forget the negative things and be brave because that’s the things she would wanted me to be.

i am feeling her love inside my body, my mind, my soul and in my spirit and it's a good feeling to see her again. next time wearing her long tail wedding gown, walking to the isles.

my mood: 1.3/10

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look back in time

Day 92

Wednesday, i got a lotta chance to spend talking with Marivic. and it was the best of everything. I really wish that every day was like the time i shared with her on my last vacation, I wish I could have super mutant power to look back in time and jump on it whenever I want it too. I really miss talking to her because at night i need to hear her voice before i can go to sleep and she knows that, and we try to talk on the internet (voice call) at night. And i really think that was cute and it was the sweetest in everything. I really miss to touch her everyday but somehow it just a dream, I hope someday it will not in dreams anymore.

I miss her softness and i love her so much than she expected and i just want to spend a lot of time with her because she can get to know me outside the public and we can hold hands and kiss and just be with each other same as before when the first time we met. It was a great feeling. I want to feel it again. I really want to think what she really needs and i am going to try my hardest to get that to her because i love her so much.

Well, i am just dead tired tonight. I need to get some sleep, lay down in my bed and hopefully talking to my baby. I just can't wait to cuddle her back. it so sad that we were apart. however, its not a big deal for me to stop here. for me it was a challenged, in this way i can proved that i am strong.

Anyway,  i am so very happy that i finally have someone who understands me and it was great feeling to have her. I never knew what love was until i met Marivic and now i have deep love and we have a lot of plans ahead. and it's nothing i have ever felt before in my life and i love it because i am sure, in God’s Grace we will be together soon. I love the way she value me and it touches my spirit and my soul.

My mood: 2.0/10

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