damn! 2012

Day 114

Friday, wow! I feel i wasted my whole day, bcuz, I was slept all afternoon and I woke up around 7:30PM. anyway, i prepare my dinner but shit happened sometimes, I didn't finish what I was cooking bcuz I’ve gotta short of condiments or additive. so I went outside then i ate at the restaurant, then I walked back at my apartment, next i took a warm bath and again hooked in the internet and nothing found interesting… then at this moment i am watching 2012 Movies at my laptop and I am drinking Pepsi at my side.. I waited Marivic to get online unfortunately he was busy at work, but I will just stay here till she’s coming back home...

next at this very moment, half way of the movie, i started to feel emotional again, damn! 2012 movie, the world is not gonna end yet! warning! dont watch this movie if you are not ready to face the end of the world yet....however, so sad to say that I am realizing i miss her so much. i can't help it. I love her so much. i know this for a fact. i am realizing the time I had spent with her when we are together and i miss her so much every day, I always wake up thinking about her. dreaming that i just want her back to me. Hoping that i just want all of it back everything, from the moment we have been together. I wish that i have a piece of 30 minutes to bring back the time how I felt her love to me.

my mood: 1.7/10.

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lets have a walk

Day 102 – part 2

I walked three rounds tonight in downtown, because I need to see something new in my eyes for a change, or I need to free my mind by walking on the street, feel the cold night air or something that if I am back into my room I am pretty tired and ready to lie down for a sleep and not to think much for something I know it will put me down forever. well, life goes on in the rough road, and it’s my fate, indeed... Yeah.. i have it, since then.

I still believe that life will not stop to move forward. Life is short to be unhappy. I am happy anyway, If you asked me… I walked with God and I prayed every day… (damn…, I am whining again…), I am old enough, I am tired, I’ve got my plans ahead, and I will not against the will of my father in heaven whatever he wants me to be I will stand, and i will walk on his own will and that is one thing I know for sure. I am happy, very very happy. If fuck things happen on the way, it’s okay. Life goes on in a certain way, each either rough or smooth. we can't avoid it..... just learn from your experience, perhaps you will gain a lesser pain.

however, let's go back to the mainstream, I am still in the process of doing something good, though that I should better go out there and explore the world by walking, doing exercise and by moving my body in healthy ways that help myself lose the pounds I earned, and I am very concerned about my body weight… ah, yeah, aside from that I need to feel the freedom on the outside world. And also you know like somewhat kinda losing the pounds if you walk three to four times in a row on the square type downtown, it’s not really a hard thing to do.

Walking is something I can do that I am free to be me and not worry what people think. You don't have to be a certain age, or color, or gender, or pretend, or anything, you don't have to be or say anything but what is you. You can speak your mind, or exert your feelings by walking, if your sad, walk. If your mad, walk, If your frustrated, walk.

So, I thought to share this passion of mine, a passion for God and a passion of walking.

My mood: 3.2/10

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Self confidence?

Day 90 – part 2

Gosh… Well today wasn't any different than yesterday but I am good, pretty good and I am still happy at the moment. I know the way of life in my reality in daily basis. Now, I'm positive I'm not the only one that feels this way. I find myself thinking a lot lately and I hate being felling low all the time. I'm tired, I leave it all to my highness.

I didn’t changed I am still the same man simply handsome, well me anyway. I can sum up me in very few words. charming and very nice. Those things I should repeated over and over again so it will uplift my spirit everytime, just learning to stay positive. I'm now growing older, but not old enough to learn more new things in life. Life is too short, I should live happy. I don’t want to deserve this to be unhappy, that I've become for past few months. I talk but none hears me half the time because it takes so freaking long to get a sentence out of my useless mouth, but now not anymore. I should have my Self confidence? Yeah right!.

My mood: 1.5/10

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