Monday, November 15, 2010

I still have this mood swing

Monday, November 15, 2010
Happy! Am I? yes I am at the moment! Sometimes no. I still have this mood swing. I cant control it. But it's so fleeting. Anyway, I was very happy this weekend because I’ve got plenty of overtime perhaps it will continue till next week. I don’t care about the basketball that I am in, we’re loser anyway, beside the team is not complete, others already went back to their own assigned job location.

Feeling tired at work but i enjoyed every second of it. gotta earned lotta money to keep this month. Gotta lotta things to do next year. I'm planning to quit my job and find another one. I let my mind wander. Was I happy with my job??? I was, I am... but it’s just not the same kind of happy I was before. Its almost as if happy is transparent now, where before it was solid. Of course, i always think about her and there were times before that I was sad or scared or frustrated or even angry, but the foundation of my feelings was happiness. Now that is all upside down.

Happiness does not stay for long, it flits thru my heart, warms it a bit, then disappears. I am grateful that it makes an appearance at all, believe me. But I wish it would stay. I can see improvement, and that gives me hope. I am 'better' for longer periods now, there is more good time between the bad. So that is a good thing, it lets me know that maybe someday, the good will outweigh the sadness in my heart again. But I have hope, that thing with flutters.

my mood: 1.5/10.


◄Design by Pocket, BlogBulk Blogger Templates. Distributed by Deluxe Templates