Just down

day 274

So the last few days I ve been feeling like total crap. Just down, totally tired.... but I always kept my thoughts jot down. I know it will help me things out inside my chest it has helped me to feel better. In my life right now I really dont have any closest friends…. I don’t have everything in here, I live alone. nothing could express my true feelings. Sometimes I just need someone to say all the things I want to hear and not tough love.

I m trying to make changes in my life to help me grow. But I think I failed. I don’t know how to be better me. I work 6 days a week, long hours, I gain nothing just for my food. I know I don’t have any future life ahead in here. I'm tired. but still there is something Is missing for me. anyway writing my rants will help me get it out and feel better instead of just keeping it all in.

my mood: 3.5/10.

keep goin

day 273

I don’t know what to say now… I guess I lost words to say. I must keep on goin, life It just keeps on going, but why I can't keep going, I can't keep this mind of mine under control. In fact I feel like I have so little of me or my life under control that it is scary. I think I am travelling along ok only to find out that this isn't the case at all. maybe again I am failing. This hurts. It hurts so much.

my mood: 3.5/10.

I am still calm

day 272

well today has been a pretty good day except for i am super tired. I washed my clothes, cleanin my room a bit, and have a lil' sleep and i woke up at 6:00pm, then I sat down and do blogging, next I open my draft mail, and took out my unpublished blogs to fill out all my empty days I left.

Tonight, I am still calm and pretty happy, although I have less mails to her, but I hope she’s okay, i hope she was thinking of me too. Anyway, I have a basketball practice tomorrow 6:00am, its been scheduled every friday, every week.

whew! I am starting to be busy for the practice till Tuesday next week. I hope every things will be fine for those time. and yet i need to sleep early so i could feel I can regain my energy in the morning.

good night...

my mood:1.3/10.