Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts

Friday, December 17, 2010

Cheater!

Friday, December 17, 2010 0
Yesterday, 3:30PM I arrived in my flat, felt tired and dizzy then I slightly drop my body on my bed, to have a rest a bit. while i am in my state of  being tired i fall asleep. I woke up 11:30 PM and she pop ups in my head, she supposed to arrive in her house at this time. 

I am worried and I care about her so I tried to call her right away. But it seems she ignored it, again I tried to call her a hundred times in a different mobile number she had, and I'm disappointed she don't care to answer my phone calls. She doesn't give an effort to text me or to call me back if she's all right... or she's alive... whatever... she don't bother herself to inform me, or even got a chance to let me know what happen to  her, but she doesn't care. she doesn't care  about my feelings...  she don't love me...

anyway, I cannot do anything about it. i tried to stop her not to commit something not good or something that it might hurt me, but i cant stop her, she did it anyway...damage has been done.

I've loved you all along, i cared for you. I looked forward to being with you forever. I have a lot of dreams for us. It's my first time to be this serious in a relationship, but what have you done? you cheated on me many times...with the person you really don't know, cheap. How could you do that to me.. you broke my heart into pieces. Now don't try to fix me..I'll be in ashes... i dont know where to place myself now... lier!

and i am depressed and i cried all day.

my mood: 7.6/10.

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

High dive adventure

Tuesday, November 3, 2009 0

The huge sound of the passenger ship horn echoed at the port of pier dos. the yell of my fellow kids flew in the cool morning air as we walked at the back of the ship and we climbed up and up. Then, halfway up the ladder, with my heart pulse hammering so hard I thought they could hear it, I stopped, I was afraid to keep climbing.



"high dive adventure!" they shouted.... and they jumped one by one, laughing, yelling, enjoying the cold morning. They are not afraid because they are always doing it, but for me it was my second time to jump. I don’t know why but I felt wasn’t good on that time. I wanted to go back down, but of course I couldn’t. I don’t want them to laughed at me and bullied me I wouldn’t jumped, we are all braved. I’m the last one to jump. so, instead I stood there shivering, thinking of how unbelievably stupid I was to come with them I wasn’t supposed to be with them.

We’re are supposed to come in the class. but the weather suddenly changed, I don’t know who was having that Idea and perhaps we are all kids bullying. then they had started to talk about was going to swim at the port. then, we were looking forward to spending our time to swim. I know it was a bad idea.

then, it was my time to jump. The kids was challenged me to jump from the high dive and they started to swim at the next port, it was Pier kuatro (Super Ferry). The next thing I knew, I was standing in line, catching my breath and my prayer.

I just look at them, thinking, I don’t have to try to do this at this very right moment. All I have to do is walk off the board and I’ll be dead! The ground was too far away- and spinning.

“come on! Hurry up!” the kids was screaming. they are moving ahead at the next port, I left alone. I looked down. I continued up, up the steps to death.

“ clank! Clank! Clank!’ all to soon I reached the tiny platform. With my heart pounding faster than ever, I stepped forward, and I closed my eyes, suddenly there was nothing under me. Then with my stomach churning, I began to fall.

Just when I was getting used to falling, “boom!” I hit the water. I could hardly believe what was happening, I catch my breath deep in the water, I rose up and floating. I am okay, I am still alive, thought, that I am crazy to jumped on that height of the passenger ship, I almost lost my consciousness. I regret, I promised I would never do that again. It’s too high, when I looked back where I jumped.

Next, I followed them and I am at the last and we are at the middle of both ports. I saw the coast guard was moving on our direction, kids easily get panic, “were dead! Were dead! Were dead! The propeller will gonna crash us into pieces” they’re shouting like shit. stupid kids! they got panic, they swim so fast and I left behind. Then I was awfully panic too, I don’t know what to do, i just thought to save my life first and I’d swim as fast as I could to reach them.

I could nearly reach them, but sudenly I felt my right legs was cramping harder it’s really pain, and cannot moved my legs, I felt my arms and body was tired my left legs was began to cramps too, and now my both legs was in pain. And I cannot moved both. i started to sink slowly, I swallow a lot of water. I am hopeless, I thought it was my last day. i am drowning and i saw them watching me.

finally, thougth, "would i ever make it home it to see my mom and dad again?" i murmured..., "please tell to my mom and dad that i love them so much." i prayed.... deep down in the water, waiting for my end. then, suddenlly someone grab my hair and pulled me up. God is great. i am still alive. thats why i am afraid to swim.

it was a good high dive adventure.

my mood: 1.3/10
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