no fuckin lunch

17.01.11

Lunch time. Im not in the mood to eat lunch. I ddnt try to ask my driver to buy my lunch i dont care about myself anymore. I want to feel the pain. I want to hurt myself. Why me? Why she choose me to suffer? Why me?

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Related articles

• For You- (cheering4u.wordpress.com)
• ZAKK WYLDE Talks About OZZY Road Stories - "This TV Had Better Give A Fuckin' Blowjob And A Handjob And Eat My Ass" (bravewords.com)
• Fuckin' Perfect -Pink (astirofechoes.wordpress.com)
• Rachel Bilson: Casual Lunch Date! (justjared.buzznet.com)
• I'm so fuckin happy T-Shirts & Products (ironydesign.wordpress.com)
• Lunch-on, party-on (earlierthannever.wordpress.com)
• Fuckin' Perfect (humanitarikim.wordpress.com)
• Single Review: P!nk - 'Fuckin' Perfect' (unrealityshout.com)
• In Other Denial for Convenience's Sake News... (23rdstreet-chronicles.com)
• Monday 21st february 2011 (xeuswaxonwaxoff.wordpress.com)

further away

Friday, So, I've been awake for about over an hour, i washed my clothes, i cleaned my room and I've my morning cup of coffee as always. I plan to eat nothing today,  i don’t have appetite till now, i am still shocked, and really its quite difficult to accept the fact that it was happened, i can’t believe it.

For now i  Just took a cup of coffee and water. I'm going to be strong today and stay tough, though. I'm trying to think about the fact that I have will power and that I'm in control. I should learn to forget the fact that it was over.

Its boring, since yesterday i had a stressful day.  Hmmm... maybe overwhelming? hmmm.. just very sad... confusing and emotional, everything was wrong... i didn’t expected to happen. 
i really feel like i am losing it.  part of me feels like i am further away from her than ever, like im such a disappointment and ass. but then another part of me is telling me this is the real turning point, and that there is absolutely no going back. i really don’t know where im going and just ugh, tired...  the hate i have for myself and hate for just living. and going through every day. I felt that i live in hell.... depressing and a whiney complaining asshole.

ahwell... i should get over it and stop being so unappreciative.

my mood: 8.5/10.

Related articles

• blind hatred (positivelyinspiredrevolution.wordpress.com)
• Busy hands a whiney mind do not make (apolylife.wordpress.com)
• Lara - week 29 - kinda maybe sorta (losingitinottawa.wordpress.com)
• hmmm (hellyesitschicken.wordpress.com)
• advice and assholes (charlarupp.wordpress.com)
• hmmm (drealityms.wordpress.com)
• Day 01 - Something you hate about yourself. (unsveltegirlrunning.wordpress.com)
• Travel Prep (bigcitylilkitchen.com)
• Some things I hate today... (strangenikolai.com)
• Hmmm (jouvarti.wordpress.com)

HIV

Whew!!! i know It's been a long time since i wrote a blog about my life as day leaps another day..

So now, im back. but where would i start? I guess i made it already CHEATER and as i am writing this blog.. im sitting here on my bed.. listening to the song that i made and i upload it in youtube and of course it fits my current life..

thinking of what else of to do next... kinda lonely.. remembering the girl i used to love so truly and cheated me a several times before it's already over..the girl who gave me reason to be careful of my heart next time... the girl who wasted my love and trust...

i never thought could be this complicated at very moment.. she cheated with me.. replacing me with a guy that she don’t even know, she just met him only at the pub, grrrr... i wish she acquire HIV.. ohh god.. you may think it's absurd but..i took the pain for almost 3 months in the last time she cheated me... our relationship end up with nothing but lies...

im trying to smile now..im learning more.. im always hurt.. im always left.. i feel so alone..

now, im scared to love again..but who knows? im still young and could find someone better than her..

I guess that i should keep myself busy.. i wanna start a new life without her.

i want to forget my sorrow..and hope things will get better..sooner or later.. cheater! Lier!

my mood: 8.9/10.

Related articles

• Ethiopia-Health: Five-year plan to halve new HIV infections (conversationswiththelivingofficial.wordpress.com)
• HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (conversationswiththelivingofficial.wordpress.com)
• National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (sassncurlz.com)
• South Africa: Opportunity for HIV Prevention That Works (conversationswiththelivingofficial.wordpress.com)
• We Have To Realize We Are Building A Movement - HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW CAMPAIGN (jeffthoghts.wordpress.com)
• HIV quietly skyrockets in Burma (conversationswiththelivingofficial.wordpress.com)
• DCH initiative aims to decrease HIV rates among African-American women (conversationswiththelivingofficial.wordpress.com)
• Research suggests HIV-infected patients at higher risk for bone fractures (physorg.com)
• National Women & Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (nlm.nih.gov)
• National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (hrcbackstory.org)

The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator

an easy way to create posts...

Good heavens! I just had a cup of tea and realised I have not updated this since last week … You would not believe I spend all my time in front of a computer. Not just a second one..

I am tied up with work, watching the cloud to rain, just generally being not online in order to the bodyguards of the bloggers i am stalking. my day seems to be packed from 8am to midnight. I am avoiding recapture…. life happens.

I promise that I will blog more regularly. Seriously! I will write more to certain yous; but it might not be you in particular who I write to..

This post has been generated…

click here…. The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator