fireworks in the night sky

February 6 2009, i just woke up in the middle of the night coz i dream about a fireworks in the night sky.

i dont know what's real meaning on it. but i can still remember the fireworks and sparkles spreads out its beauty through out the dark night sky.

The image in my mind is so beautiful and colorful fireworks that are lighting up a dark night's sky.

it just a dream and i hope there's no meaning about my imaginative thoughts.

My son joshua

February 1 2009

Today is Joshua's birthday. . He almost made it, he almost made to see the worlds beauty, he almost made to see the beauty of God creation… but My heart is broken when i went home to see hes gone...

if only I knew....

i will not leave him alone…if God would give me a chance to take a glimpse of my son's happiest moment. would take the chances to stay beside him. Will I ever find peace and accept that he is really gone?

It still hits me like a ton of bricks when reality comes and I discovered over and over again that he is truly gone from my side. He was so much a part of who I am, it’s like I’m one half of a whole and I can’t fill that void. he was such a wonderful grown up kid and I just want to publicly wish him a happy birthday.

"Joshua" - Hebrew name

In Hebrew, the name Joshua means- Jehovah is generous. Jehovah saves. In the Old Testament, Joshua was chosen to succeed Moses as leader of the Israelites for their journey to the Promised Land... and now i just ask for jushua's guidance and these are my favorite bible verse that i memorize for my daily prayer:

Psalms 23:1 A Psalm of David The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;

thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil;

my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the

LORD for ever.

Amen

Mylot blog

i register to mylot website 3 years ago, coz of my friend freddy invite me to sign up on it. anyway, on that moment i'm not interested for having online discussion or something like creating a blog for some thought.. so, im not active, and i didnt participate for 3 years..

then, last week, when im surfing online in the internet i saw mylot.com banners anywhere.... what i did is i try to register 2 times,... but the result showing my email id already exist.. on the message itself i remember that i had been register my account 3 years back then...

but now what i need is only blogging on there website.. and now included the link below, in order to grant me to blog at there site. and here it is.

myLot User Profile

may i participate now?

how to make money online?

almost a month now searching for the right direction to earn money online and up to now i cant see my progress. i just want to be prepared, and i want it right.

i followed some blog post make money online from the other bloggers that i would think it seems i will learn it from them. i already fill up my account in the adsense. i m waiting 4 days now for the approval . i hope everythings will be okay.

could anybody help me please to know where should i start? please leave a comment. i will appreacite it.. thank you.

Layouts

wrote: January 08 2009- Layouts

I visited those sites like multiply and friendsters page and I really like to see good impressive background layouts, it’s cool!, I’m impressed!, it’s a thing kinda, animated type of background layouts! Wow you’re so cool! You are at the level of html programmer! High five for you! But anyhow, it is really reflects you?? Why not simple?

By the way, guys! How did you do that!? did you really create that kind of stuff or you just copy and paste the code itself! However, you’re such a creative person! Yes really, you are! And, Could you please teach me how to do it. Im willing to learn on it.

You know sometimes what I need is to visit some new photos, read some blogs if they have it and the last thing is to drop a message and leave that’s it……

But you know guys I face a lot of problem when I tried to open up webpage that contain graphics animated layouts, specially from friendster. And these are the following.

1. It takes a longer time to download your page. Boring.

2. It will cost me mo money!

3. The last thing is Server error… it irritates me..

Does your multiply or friendster layouT fits you?!

What I suggest is do blogging! Cool! Peace..!!

Have fun! Enjoy!

New Years Eve

wrote:January 2 2009

New Years Eve! My plan was to stay in my room for the whole night! And of course I was expecting calls from my friend’s coz I know they might be inviting me to join them to celebrate and welcome the upcoming year 2009.

For several hours that I have been waiting, my phone rang! My friend said. “Do you care to join the party!”) I replied. “Of course I’m free tonight”. To make my story short.. I went there and I was surprised because I was expecting lots of people would come to celebrate New Year’s Eve in our hang out. Strange! We’re just four persons celebrating New Years Eve! Anyway it’s not a big deal I just wanted to let the new years pass! Even if we’re only four we can still (celebrate) New Year.

However, the important things is I chatted to my couple of friends, we had discussed some issues, we’d bonded like real closed friends and the tough one is taking some photos for Friendster uploading though, and I did uploaded it earlier… and I realized that my pictures wasn’t good. I reviewed all my photos and my eyes are sad….. Anyway frankly speaking someone bothered me that night……


At last the time has passed; the old year 2008 has been left out! Another New Year has just begun happy New Year 2009!!!! Enjoy party..! We played the videoke to sing a song; you know I don’t want to give up my singing career….i love to sing…

Getting ready for Christmas

Dec 24 2008: Getting ready for Christmas

We have a small group of friends here in Yanbu..! if I would count all of them approximately…’ we are about’.. 25 persons more or less, and we agreed that we will be having a small gathering on Christmas Day..

They decided to contribute small amount of money for food stuff and they would cook different kinds of Filipino dishes….and that was cool! (Don’t forget my kare-kare with ginisang bagoong!) Wow… !!Yummy! These might be a great celebration!! am I right?! .. I love it! And I’m happy to have that celebration…

haaayy…you know guys, homesick is my great enemy!… I am trying to avoid it… its killing me! It always put me down! It’s always changed my mood anytime what my mind likes! And i am happy that there was a Christmas day.. And Christmas day is the right time to celebrate! This is the day that the lord has been born….it’s time for a great celebration… yeheey!! Merry Christmas!..

Anyhow, in Gods grace! I hope the plans will work well and organized on the Christmas Day! I am really excited to come to that event… we all knew that Christmas day is for kids but sometimes I feel I’m a kid..! whatever!……

However, we added some sort of exchanged gift for the Christmas celebration and the contribution is worth 50 Saudi Riyal…, anyway, I don’t care for the expenses. what I want is everything should be done well… and it’s because that is the most interesting part of the Christmas day! The exchange gift a surprised gift that brings out your emotion or feelings….. Happiness and excitement when you start to open your gift…. i know it sounds corny….. But life is too short… we deserve to be happy….

Finally, hello guys! Thank you for those who read my blog, i want to extend my warm greetings… i just wanna say that this message comes to wish you happiness and every good thing too, to make this Christmas a wonderful one for you and then the kind of happiness desired by your heart and family times, filled with peace and joy, right from the start. Merry Christmas and advance Happy New Year!!! Enjoy party!!!!!!!!!!!!!… Stay safe guys………God loves you…! Blog you laterrr!!!.

.. Thank you..!

Away

im so far away from home and its hard to think about it cause theres nothing to go home to just a life full of nothing i just want to feel like i belong somewhere..............................away..

SaD

SAD

It’s late in the evening, the hours of darkness was all over the place. I 

couldn’t sleep. I want to smoke but I don’t have cigarette. I want to be drunk

but I don’t have wine or beer. I want to forget everything that keeps on 

bothering inside my head just for one night, but I couldn’t do it. It’s hurting 

me so much.

My heart felt sad and lonely. I was trap with my emotion and my sentiment. I want 

to write more of my saddest moment for tonight but it’s hurting me so much. I 

should hid and keep it all inside my heart. Maybe somehow I will do forget all of 

it. I must try to forget it. Who cares?! Nobody cares when you sad.

It’s very difficult to live alone, away from your family, no one listened for what you feel inside your heart, and no one nears you when you needed someone. 

they already forget me....

Selling my laptop

Dec 7 2008: Selling my laptop

I buy my laptop on my birthday. I buy it for myself. It was my birthday gift for me. I just pay myself for all the years that I had been working hard.

Now, I made a terrible decision. What I did is I sell my laptop and I wasn’t thinking for my financial expenses for this month. I know it takes more months before I can buy a replacement for my laptop. anyway, who cares...

Next week I will disconnect my Internet connection.

Birthdays Hangover

dec 5 2008: Birthdays Hangover

My father will celebrate his birthday on December 5, I know he's not happy without me because we are celebrating his birthday with a bottles of beer!!! I miss my father; I wanted to get drunk high together with my cousins.

I want to get high on it again. It’s so amazing to be drunk sometimes, you just feel so relaxed and high and you forget about all your troubles. head spinning, feeling so light, just laughing about stupid stuff, the warm fuzzy feeling you get, and no worries.

Wishing you Advance Happy Birthday. Have a good one!

Forgetting Birthdays

Nov 30, 2008: Forgetting Birthdays

There are many special occasions that touch your life and the lives of the people around you. Especially those whom you love most.(Drum rolls please....)

One of those occasions is birthday event. It was over when I remember my mom’s birthday, it has freaked me out….aaaah. What the hell am I thinking for the last couple of weeks! I really forgot to greet my mom on her birthday! I felt guilty. I know her very well. She’s so emotional when it comes into event like this. I know I broke her heart into pieces. I’m ashamed of myself, I should do something.

I was in the office when I tried to call mom. (Playing sentiment music….) I used the company telephone and I know it wasn't allowed to call international calls but I didn’t care at all if they will charge me or not. I really needed to have a word with my mom. I wanted to say something really nice that would please her. I wanted to say something that would ease the pain and make her happy and comfortable. I love my mom very much, she is so important to me more than anyone else.

Then, I heard my mom voice in the telephone and she started crying. I tried to control my feelings so she will not notice that I’m affected with her lousy voice. i tried not to get affected, but it was too late my tears rolled down my cheeks....Ew!. I hate my mom for being sensitive that she always made me cry and she will never stop crying, until you will give her a candy, Toink!. Oh God! here we go again, It is very hard to convince her to stop crying.

My mom left me for 12 years, since I was 7 years old. When Joshua died; my mom and I met each other for the first time after that long, long years of being apart….. (My Story stopped here…I don’t like sad story). finally, to make long story short she has forgiven me, afterall. (music stopped here...) (music fade...) Belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER!!!..

Why Blog?

Why blog?

My high school buddy asked me "why, am I writing a blog?", What are the reasons why i am writing a blog? What  are my blogs for?, or (in general) with the purpose of getting someone to visit my site to read them, what would i say in it that might be interesting in their eyes?.

My blog purpose is to release my tension, talk about my everyday routine, or sometimes let it go away with my feelings.  Maybe when you read my blog, you get to know me ……  you will laugh sometimes,.  Somehow, in a bad situation that happened,  we tried to avoid it….  and maybe served as a  warning to other people becoz we have shared it to them.

like during those days when I am staying in my room,  getting bored, nothing to do, nothing but to write…… in this way, I can release what is it inside of me. I have had lots of moments and memories that I just let it passed away with no accounts of how and when it happened…. Memories that were wasted becoz it was not recorded……

I think its better to write than doing nothing. Or it would be better to have zero than empty. That’s my reason why I’d love to write my blog.

I screwed my diet

i was surfing in the internet and downloading some mp3 music to installed it in my ipod, when my tummy start crunching, asking for food! I felt hungry, I text my good friend if there are foods to eat. He replied saying that I would come over to join the group for dinner.

Then I walked across to the next building. I was thinking that I might be late for dinner! I don’t want to miss kare-kare with bagoong, I did wait for him to cook that thing for almost a week. I know my friend how he cook it. he is one of the best! he’s brilliant. It’s one of my favorite Filipino food.

Whew! Well, they started eating when I came there! I sit and i take a bunch of rice and kare-kare with ginisang bagoong! Woow delicious! Yummy, excellent I really eat too much, i dont remember what i had told.

It’s too late when I remember I was doing a diet thing!

I said screwed it!

I screwed my diet!

I know I will gain more pounds after I finish eating!

Anyway I don’t care! I taste my favorite food Wow! I really forget everything!

I screwed my diet….Cheers!!!!

Living in the different land

I intend to share the wealth of knowledge and experience I have with my friends and relatives in the Philippines as well as the readers from other countries. I used to live in the Philippines, but now I live in Yanbu Kingdom of Saudi Arabia for a job that my country difficult to provide.

At the beach

at the beach Friday morning. I am excited and feel happy when my friends invited me to come with them to the royal commission beach resort early in the morning at 6:00 AM. The weather was good, the sea water was warm, and the temperature was cool.

We brought spaghetti pasta without spaghetti sauce,"lol". My friend jerry forgot the spaghetti sauce in the kitchen, “funny”. He remembered it when we were already at the beach. my friends and I preparing some foods to eat, while others were having fun already at the beach, other also were busy taken pictures.

Then, I went over to the seaside, i walked around and felt the warm water down in my legs, I feel the gentle wind in my face and in my arms. those breeze made me feel relaxed, took away some sort of a stress. The next minute, I took a deep breath for a moment to smell the fresh air.. wow it was cool, suddenly I felt refreshed! lucky to get in there!. 

After I’ve done it, I decided to swim together with my friends, they were already having fun, playing in the water, while others were chatting and I join together with them.

Finally, my very good friend, Edwin took so many pictures in various poses and emotions........ to the delight of those in the beach.. pics that would remind us to cherish those moments with friends..... cheers!!, it was indeed, on great Friday morning !!! can't wait for another one to come soon!!.