My son joshua

February 1 2009

Today is Joshua's birthday. . He almost made it, he almost made to see the worlds beauty, he almost made to see the beauty of God creation… but My heart is broken when i went home to see hes gone...

if only I knew....

i will not leave him alone…if God would give me a chance to take a glimpse of my son's happiest moment. would take the chances to stay beside him. Will I ever find peace and accept that he is really gone?

It still hits me like a ton of bricks when reality comes and I discovered over and over again that he is truly gone from my side. He was so much a part of who I am, it’s like I’m one half of a whole and I can’t fill that void. he was such a wonderful grown up kid and I just want to publicly wish him a happy birthday.

"Joshua" - Hebrew name

In Hebrew, the name Joshua means- Jehovah is generous. Jehovah saves. In the Old Testament, Joshua was chosen to succeed Moses as leader of the Israelites for their journey to the Promised Land... and now i just ask for jushua's guidance and these are my favorite bible verse that i memorize for my daily prayer:

Psalms 23:1 A Psalm of David The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;

thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil;

my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the

LORD for ever.

Amen