being kind

day 259

friday, im doin house works, my room was so damn quiet, i cant hear any sounds but only my aircondition, then  while im cleanin all my mess, i remember something.... and i need to write it down before it goes off..

im kind... there is no harm for being kind, I always been kind to them, but I don't know why it happens, but it does. I let myself felt down for the words that other people said. I should not took it and think everytime. it made me sick, and i should not listened to them, they just messin my life… I should know myself better by now, for all those years I’ve been depressed, why I aint learn my lesson?!

I guess its only in my mind and perhaps there was nothing to worry about it… i should stop thinkin not normal, it makes me upset.. im tired of this stupid paranoia syndrome… maybe I 'm just protecting myself from being hurt.

I hate the pain that haunts me when people leave me, but I will keep facing it, and you know I'm not a bad man… for all those people who have entered my heart and walked away....I love you and I will never forget you. But the story always has an end.

my mood: 5.5/10.