tiny white lie

Day 264

I am so frustrated, pissed, upset, and depressed. I mean, I just have to fuck everything up, don't I? Ever since I know I was a curse, I've been a mess, but after all of the confusion, i hardly know what to do with myself anymore. I mean, I don't know who to trust. I went off now. Ive got the final decision.

but I feel so bad, when I did it and I think I really hurt her feelings, even though I know she will never admit that. I guess it’s been triggered something in me and since I have so much stress when I went off, and I just exploded.

I really shouldn’t do that, and I never think twice. i know i hurts her feelings and so do I, but I should have to do it for her own sake because I know she has a lot of responsibility, and she can't get away with it… And on top of that, I think I might have lost a really someone special.

I know she lied, and even though it was a tiny white lie, but that still really pissed me off (or upset me...I’m not really sure which) but she was one of the best and i feel like things will never be the same again…

My mood: 5.0/10.