Friday, March 19, 2010

theres no way i can stop it

Friday, March 19, 2010
day 221

It's my own fault. I know that. There’s nothing to blame. its been nothing but whom I know its not been a big deal. But still, if you will think it over, it will not harm you anything.. I don’t know what to think now but that things are getting complicated on track between the two and its seems like there’s no cure. like a spanner thrown in your face, is not the nicest thing in the world.

I should have known. i Shouldn't have trusted that all that everything was have been saying and doing was for me and me only. Yet, when someone seems so hell bent on convincing you that your first impression of them, but lots of talking a lot of times it is wrong, you will get confused, you start to think after a time, that maybe, just maybe you could be wrong and perhaps that person isn't what you thought they were.

Sadly for me, my instinct was right for a change. It’s exactly who I thought it was in the first place, despite I trying to convince myself that it was honest feelings on her side otherwise. I'm disappointed that she is that person. I was really hoping that she was who she kept trying to tell me she was, and it turns out she isn't.

To find out that she is flirting with and chatting some other guy its really heartbreaking, it just hurtful feeling. To think that all the nice things she said and did for me meant nothing in the end,

I can't do it anymore. I can't put myself out for someone who isn't even going to give me enough respect not to treat me like that. I thought she liked me, but she clearly doesn't and I can't do anymore than I have.

I wonder how long it will take for me to get over ? It's going to hurt every time I see her, It's my fault. I missed out on something that could have been really great and I know she can easily move on she’s taught and strong.

She found someone whos really does makes her happy. and theres no way i can stop it.

Anyway this is only memories from the past… now....

my mood: 1.2/10


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