He just look down

day 195

Today, I'm on a hurry… hurry, hurry, hurry because I Woke up kinda late today, I'm gonna late, late, late.. but I feel okay…. I feel happy… whew…anyway I catch the driver…. But he wants me to drive the car?… yes he wants me to drive the car..., okay… no license, no papers, no nothing, just a balls… 

then I ask him “are you okay?” He just look down… 

I glance at the clouds, I can still see the stars light and it’s so nice and cold outside. It’s still dark, its seems there is no policeman on the road yet. I started to move into the highway. 

he’s not okay…the first thoughts that came to my mind.. he missed his family… he started to cry a bit, damn emo… I didn’t see Indians cryin… and while we are on the road he started to tell me his family issues… damn it… he never stop crying… so I drove him to a store and let him buy some breakfast… so he will forget about his emotional problems…and let him eat to death.. 

I stayed at the car, imagined myself.. what about me? I love to own a family of my own, but my life is here. I'm not happy to live here.. for the most part of my life being here is a waste of time, i just look only for the money and I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss being loved, I missed to fuck, damn it, I never used my manhood since a long time... boring… it wasn’t nice.. 

next we talk again a lot but it's not the same as before, I think he already let it out while we are on the road, I think his okay now... 

however.. I think of her, I missed her, Sometimes i just want to talk for a few minutes just to be with someone you know who loves me.. I miss being loved. 

Then drive to work and I was listening to the music on the radio,... I don’t want to hear his damn emo again he just make me feel unhappy.. 

my mood: 1.4/10.