i am just being me...

Today, Thursday it has definitely taken me thru a loop. I’ve been just dealing with things, and not dealing with other things, i am just being me. just doing whatever I can to make things right and positive, and mostly anything that has to be fun and happy. i don't want to be sad, depressed, stressed, over giving, etc....well looks like I have had some up and down moments with all that. so sometimes I went to bed fairly late every night.

at midnight, I’ve got a caller and a text at almost 3:00 am. a friend asking to meet her in any place I want either hongkong or manila, she's was just bugging me. I went straight back to my sleep, my eyes I can’t open yet, I’ve got to spent a few hours left to sleep. Definitely, I’m dreaming with my wedding and certainly I hope it might happen soon and I was on over drive at this point, I need to go back to sleep.

Then I’ve think as soon as i got off of work, I would take a nap. wait! no Not yet! nope! Gotha go to home first, showered, cleaned, and I need to bring my laptop at the shop, it still covered under warranty service, the cooling fan it might need to be fix, I guess it’s not working properly, because it shutdown frequently when it reach the high heat temperature then suddenly it will tripped without warning. Damn laptop!.. junk!

right now, saddens me a bit! I can’t see her often before and after going to sleep and now once more I feel heartbreaking, i don't use this word ever really but I hate that she has the ability to do a lot to me, and she has no idea, how it caused me. she can change my mood, have effects on me in different ways, change my day, and so on. But one thing I want to make it sure for myself.. I just do believed that it wont happen again and I’ll put my whole trust to her.

so now I’m little exhausted. I’m spent, drained! I don’t need a bad sleep and I just want to have a good night’s rest tonight. I hope soon I will have a good night’s sleep and sleep thru the whole night every night.

enough for today.

My mood: 7.0/10