Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I feel good

Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I continue to feel good. Well, all things being relative I feel good. I could sleep last night, I made good progress. I'm feeling so good that I'm back to that desire to be off the mess. Sometimes I really think I could disengage myself off with my past story and think that I have to be alright. Other times, like now, I know for certain I could never survive without that so called love and inspiration to her, I vow never to miss a single text everyday.. I have to be up in time to see her in the morning and in the evening I have to remember that I should have to be home in time to see her.

After all, I want to continue to feel good. This morning that I almost missed my transport. After going to be at 6:15 AM I slept soundly enough that I overslept this morning. I hated to get up but I need too. The luxury of a kiss and good night's sleep with her is one I so rarely experience that I wanted to just lay in bed and enjoy it.
Really, Will wonders never cease.

I'm feeling very good and very stable. I feel like the world is my oyster and I'm gonna eat it. I hope this stability continues. I hope I will not be back into the depression again. I sure hope not. I have high hopes that my curse has been broken and I will remain stable. I know that one of these days I'll beat this damn cycle and it will stop. I'm trying to remain positive (thank you Marivic) and hopeful If it comes back this time I need to do something different to combat it. I just rather have to move on.

Not sure what that may be but obviously anything I normally do doesn't work. I would try to ponder again but experience has shown me that I can't focus enough to think when I'm depressed. Lack of concentration, you know? So I'm planning on doing my best to retain a positive attitude, to remember that it too will pass. Somehow I think that's the key to dealing with it. But the little beast is very insidious and sneaky, he usually finds some counter to anything I use to battle him. Wonder what his counter to positive thoughts will be? Damn depression..

Ok journal, enough for today. I'm still feeling very good but I'm starting to batten down the hatches in anticipation of the onslaught I fear will be coming in the next few days. We will see where the wages on till next year..

My mood: 7.2/10


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