Tuesday, July 7, 2009

peace and quiet

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

sometimes when we clean and wash out in the physical, the mental takes over and you begin to think about things from the past. Things that you have been hiding from yourself, holding back for various reasons, things you just need to let go of. 

When you do begin to clean and purge your mind and heart a peace comes over you and you know some things are right in your world. It happens to me a lot as I try hard to keep my physical side mess free as much as possible for the succeeding month.

I have been working a lot on my mind and heart. Most of you who read me know this and have been through the ups and downs with me finding who I really am inside.

I was on my bed sitting staring all four corners of my room, no movies to watch, no songs to listen. I just need a peaceful setting and somehow I would like to feel my mind is calm down and relax. I love peace and quiet thought.

I am Not sure why this post is being typed right now. I would write a few things then go back to my work and then come back as I felt led to.

One of the few things I realized about myself was this. I desperately need to exercise my brain. It’s imperative that I do so. I realized this after I found myself reading back all of my blogs. Seriously, I need to go out, make time each day to do something different. It is sad when I read my June post, it hurts me so much, all totally mess up.

There were releasing tears and silly but it was something that with all of the stress in last few months coming down to crunch time for me, I need to do something about it. If I allow myself a little time daily to think something positive, then I won’t get back to the point I will be scared and afraid.

I have been trying hard to trick my mind into thinking that everything to me will be okay…. I know I am not good enough… the curse still following me.. wish me luck.. 

I know it was a long one but sometimes the long ones are so worth reading. 

Sadly, this one was not.

My mood: 7.0/10


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