day 160
Last night, while waiting, I journey to my older blogs, and I write a lot of depressing thought, I hate it when I always read my older post, sometimes it returns the memory from the past, urgh!!!..it’s awful thing to read... I don’t know how stupid am i. why I wrote all those whining words and I don’t know where I've got those words that comes out on my head. do you believe if I am depressed or I am feeling low, I write a lot? but if I am okay, or feel happy a lil bit I write less?....crazy..! horrible writing....but it always happening to me . I usually write a lot when I'm mad or depressed...
And honestly, i don't act like how i seem in my blogs in the real life, I'm not a hateful person at all, i always try to have a smile on my face, even tho its fake. I just like seeing other people happy and How they get happy. I go out, have some tea break at night alone. Need to go out of my way if times get rough, but I always want to make her happy by the way.
Right now, honestly, I can’t really say that i'm happy or I cant really say that I’m not in the mood as well, i think im in middle. God, I hate myself if i sound so depressing all the time. But i never act like it in the real life, I am a good person, Probably why everyone likes being my friend, i make everyone laugh, and i'm always happy around them. anyway, again it just another pointless post I have today…
my mood: 5.7/10.
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1 comments:
Hey you can't be a horrible person if so many people like you. Don't be so hard on yourself. I am like that too, but I know if I give in to those self derogatory feelings they will over take me. Just be yourself. Hugs.
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