This is the reality

day 177

Today, was boring,... there’s not much to say today, I’m not gonna write a lot. i woke up, I had a really bad head ache, i think it was taken from the little operation I had last Saturday, it was scary but i took the risk. if you’ll see me you will not notice that I had been in a slight operation for a week, because I'm still healthy, I can move like normal movements, but it’s painful. I always take my meds and I hope in the long ran I will be okay.

Anyway, I'm not goin into detail its private, the wound was still fresh and I need more week to heal it. I am still going to work I don’t want to be stuck in the house in one day, it’s boring. I think I’ll be bored forever. I cant go to play practice basketball if I'm on this situation. I'm not okay inside.

my God look after me whatever the risk I take, he is over me every day and every night, prayer is my protection in my everyday living, I live alone I die alone. Sometime the pain keep occurring every night the sleep cannot come over me every night.

No one cares, nobody cares. the painful thought they were here all day... they visited me in dreams..... there is no turning back. It seems I’ll be here forever...there were no amazing time I had with my love ones and friends, no smile has been curl in my lips. This is the reality.

My mood: 4.5/10.