not a good sign

Day 159

today, Tuesday, I woke up early 2:00am and 3:00am. I didn’t sleep again till I go to work. Now a day’s I'm not in the mood for anything, I just really want to forget everything upsets me, im not having lunch, not having a proper meals and not healthy at all. I don’t know when my appetite will be back. its not a good sign for me.

Anyway, Isn't it funny how talking to one person can open your world to a whole new way of thinking, I guess. My mind moves too swiftly for me to get all my thoughts down, but recently I am finding myself challenged by someone who i find interesting and whose thought processes are way different than mine. I have always thought of myself as a real person who cares beyond measures and without judgment...

but i guess i can be offensive without it even being my intention. I don’t know, anyway... I really need to divert my thoughts for a while or for some other way how to forget the things that i think it is not really for me. it's not really a good sign to me... Isn't it i keep pushing myself ? but all though i've seen some other signs? and or maybe difinitely it wasn't design for me? it is so scary though perhaps another downfall will be waiting for me in the near future...

i dont know...... if i will start out trying to find things in common with people... people i can relate to.. people  can help in some way... but i am finding myself also open minded to others' differences. I choose to be open and honest about my life and experiences and hope that it doesn't come back to bite me.

One of my biggest downfalls is being too open and trusting of others... but if you find people who are worth the risk, then it all evens out in the end...but if you don't ever take a chance.. what have you gained? But in the same token...if you don't take the risk ...what have you lost... it's a never ending battle.... guess ultimately it depends on the person looking at the glass or through the glass!

so anyways, just a little venting i guess.

My mood: 5.8/10.