annoying behavior

Day 135

I am totally sucks, I can’t control myself. I am always in the wrong turned I don’t know why but I know I am. And it always happened to me, I am totally sucks, I know it’s wrong, i love her so much, very much. but it seems I always wanting to see her or to hear her voice often. i don't know... maybe I miss her a lot, i don't hate being with her, but sometimes I got the whole tied down feeling sucks, if I don’t see her most of the times, I got worried.

and if she don't texted me or call me ro whether she don't answer my phone calls, I freaks out! I am thinking something is wrong! Then it will start my whole lot day feeling down, it really sucks, and if she’s outside, damn I don’t know where to put my butt, my mind wasn’t stop thinking, it’s really scares me, i lost my appetite and i cant sleep.

I really don’t know how to deal with it. I hope I can. I hope I should know how to change this annoying behavior, i hope next day I could decide never to live the same behavior again. Its kinda like i wake up and all I do is go to work, come home, and take care of something that not even mine, my life really sucks.

my mood: 4.0/10.