have patience

day 15-part 3

sometime there was a time that I can’t figure it out. I feel so ridiculous all the time. Am I sabotaging my relationship? Why am I so greedy? Why do I always want more, or maybe im just still living at the past? Why do I always think something is wrong? Where is the trust? Where is the security? It's hard because I want to be bringing her closer to me.

I want to be spending more time together and doing more things together, but somehow, I'm doing the opposite. I'm pushing her away, I upset her, and the only side effect is mind stress. I don't know how to make things better but I hope she’s still have patience till the day my heart came back to its normal beat.

My mood: 7.1/10