Having spent a day when I felt lonely and somewhat depressed I knew it was time for a meeting of my minds. I’ve found Sunday afternoon while I was working I thought its usually a good time to get all of my personalities (or at least most of them) together for a little chat. It seems prudent to start the week with all of us on the same page.
I knew why that day had caught me unaware. Usually focusing on a task will keep my mind from wandering off where I don’t want it to go. On that particular day all I wanted to do was start the f’ing tractor and I couldn’t do it. The problem was I had no plan B to fall back on. With no plan B then I fell down that slippery slope which went something like this:
I can’t start
Why am I here?
I am hopeless
Why am I different from everyone else?
Am I a big, old loser?
Having called this meeting to order there was immediate consensus that we are not going to have any more days like that. (You’re in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia stupid!, for God’s sake! You can see the game that what you are up to! What more do you want, ya big loser?) Second, we made some keen observations.
1. I can’t be all work and no play. I cannot just work all the time or
2. I cannot be isolated from human beings all the time. So we had a discussion and came up with the following conclusions:
1. Chill out. I need to not put pressure on myself. What is the point of being frustrated?
2. I need to not worry about money so much and not restrict myself so much (although its more costly every month). I admit this is a little tricky with a small income but I need to remember that things always work out for me and keep trusting that they will continue to do so. God is always there for me.
3. Tomorrow will take care of myself. Worrying about it not only doesn’t help but robs you of today. Be where you are.
We then devised a coping plan (which is essential to have ahead of time). Declaring a general desired outcome (for example “Change your attitude”) requires specific tasks with measurable outcomes with ways that will work for you (1. get new information so that you can think differently, 2. take a bubble bath each week to relax, 3. volunteer at a shelter etc.) to make sure your goal doesn’t remain wishful thinking.
This is what we came up with for me:
1. go for a walk every night.
2. each Sunday write a loosely constructed idea of what you want to get done in the week
3. be flexible! Let go of your agenda (and anything on this action plan) if it is not working!
4. Surf in the Internet and blogs.
5. try to have more interaction with friends. It might not work. Don’t take it personal if it doesn’t.
6. write letters.
7. visit somewhere new once a week
9. read something every day about the area
10. read something every day about anything
11. watch the sunset
All in all I feel pretty good about the Meeting of my Minds. There were 3 or 4 in attendance and I have a sneaking suspicion that at least 1 personality did not show up, probably my pity part of myself, "ME".
He didn’t show up to vote.
my mood: 7.0/10
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