she’s doing the right thing...

Day 10 part 2

If I am sad and lonely then the only thing I can think to do is write before I have a complete melt down…it calms me down…because sometimes it keeps my mind always thinking for the unnecessary things that it won’t help myself to calm down. then I will not going to stop until I didn’t hear her voice, it kills me… thanks God I know she’s the only one can heal all my heart troubles.

This is unusual behavior and my brain has immediately gone wild if I started to miss her. That’s why I’d like to call every time I miss her. sometimes my heart hurts, if I remember things from the past, but I’m trying to avoid it not to feel that way again, it will hurt me a lot. But I know Her voice would be enough to cure me even if for just a few minutes. 

however, If I feel I am worried about her, that’s the time I’d like to know where she could be, where she is right now and what’s she’s doing, I want to know everything about her, it’s really quite difficult being away, it’s cruel. I know feeling doubt it’s not good to keep.…but sometimes I can’t handle myself and I’m already felt crazy and I’m crazy with worries which is not good for me and to her.

I need to think Positive…just keep thinking positive…right? I’m sure she’s doing the right thing for our relationship to be nice and perfect…

I think staying outside do some walking around in the town, just having one round for an a hour can help the time pass and also do some chatting with friends rather than being stock In the home doing nothing, it’s quite boring. I know being lonely it’s not a good habit and I know it’s not the best option… but I hate myself sometimes why I keep on doing it… 

I love her so much… maybe I’m choking her, maybe sometimes she needs some space… I want to be with her for the rest of my life, I will do everything to keep her safe with me... 

My mood: 7.2/10