Friday, August 14, 2009

surviving the bugs

Friday, August 14, 2009
Day 11

Friday morning, day 11 of my countdown, I didn’t slept well last night. there was a bug in my mind that troubles me a lot. while I am on my bed lying down. my thought start to flow thinking for the possibilities on how to kill the bugs that has been slowly eating my brain. Anyhow, I should try to accept and forget the words that I don’t want to be heard again. it stressed me out.

Sleepless night has going deeper, I moved here and there trying to figure it out where and which place I can sleep faster. still I can’t slept, my mood little goes down. 

It’s almost a month has passed since the bad things hits me and I thought the flows of my life has been stop there, now look at me I am still standing and still moving, pretending to be tough all day. now day 11 of my countdown. surviving the bugs that reality hits me. I should accept things that its not really meant for me. I know it’s hurting me inside but that’s the way it should be. I am helpless.

Meanwhile, my friend call me they are ready to go to the beach for swimming. Then, I agree just for a change at the moment, I know it will be fun and it's quite relaxing, though. However the atmosphere was good and Perhaps I will forget the bug’s that keeps on eating my brain and beating me down harder.

I am trying to think positive every time because I know it will help me a lot. its time to use the ritual that I've been learn, i should take one deep breath in, down into my belly. I exhale. I breathe in again. I exhale. I inhale again, and exhale all the air out. My breath finds it natural rhythm and I am now aware of it doing its thing. In and out. In and out. It seems it's quite easier. All I am doing is breathing exercise.

My mood: 7.1/10


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