i am just scared

last 3 nights i dont have a good sleep, im still keep on thinking what's happening in my life, Why do I allow myself to feel this way? Why is it so hard to just walk away? I keep telling myself that I can do it. That I can be strong enough to walk away.

Then I find myself thinking of ways to make it work. I am so sick and tired of my thoughts being in turmoil. I try to keep my head up for my relatioship with her, but inside I'm dying. I tell myself to get over it and move on, every day I'm online trying to find out more about her. I want to move on with her, i will not let go, i am just scared and I want to stay with her forever.

I don't know what to do anymore, im scared. Can I trust again? Can I love again? I don't know anymore, im tired. I wish the solution was simple. Why do people hurt you? Why can't they just be true and honest? Why is it that when you have a good relationship you posses? you choose easily to let it go?

my mood: 6.8/10