total asshole

day 79- part 2

what the hell is wrong with me? i just wake up and feel sad for no damn reason. I am a total asshole to my super sweet baby, and i have no idea why. i just feel sad. and mad, frustrated. short fuse. Everything pisses me off. It’s like a roller coaster, my mood was suddenly changed, it's have been going on for a week now. I just don’t have energy to move.

i sat at the computer for 8 hours today. i don't want to go out and have some fun with my friends, and I just had lost my appetite. ugh, I’m so sick of this. i do nothing all day. Just coming to work and go. i can't wait to go home, I felt tired, I just wait for the day when I will be home. I don’t want to fall apart with nothing to do.

sHe doesn't understand, she's never felt like this. Depression is something that runs in my blood. it's hard to beat it. I need to though. although, all i want to do is lay in bed all day and not get up for anything, doing unnecessary job, just to make myself busy. i just hate myself it always coming back to me, I couldn't fight it, and I'm just trying to avoid it not to affect her..I’m sorry if sometimes we’ve had a bad conversation, I felt guilty about it… i just gotta wait for this to pass, it always does.

My mood: 3.5/10.