twinge

Day 69 - part 2

The first day of the week I just felt awful. I felt terrible all the time, Wasn't eating properly or sleeping very well.

I feel somewhat better at this time but that emotion of despair is still there and just won't seem to go away. Every time I think about something related to it I get this "twinge" in my stomach and I feel empty inside. EVERY DAY when I wake up, the first thought that goes through my head is that I should think positive, I don’t want to feel the same twinge. I lost my diet, I'm not eating like I used to be, I still often have a hard time falling asleep.

the memories just haunt me. I have to go out and just do...something, anything. It feels like this is all a bad dream and one day I'll wake up and everything will be back to normal.

I had problems with mild depression before when I was teenager but it just seemed so much easier to kick than this. This is just making me miserable. I feel like I want to crawl in a hole somewhere, I don’t want to deal with this anymore.

I hope I will feel much better tomorrow.

my mood 4.5/10